Infertility... and Pregnancy... Neither are for Wimps, but Both are Worth It!

First, let me go ahead and get this out of the way.  Infertility was, has and will always be harder than any pregnancy, but...

It has been my experience that pregnancy is not a cake walk in itself.  Granted, the ultimate prize cannot be beaten and makes everything worth it, but in all those month waiting to hold your miracle... it's easy to get bogged down in the blah.

In all that time of infertility, I just wanted to be pregnant.  I envisioned a perfect little baby bump and life itself would be perfect... as soon as I had that.

Only being pregnant is more than a "perfect little baby bump."

I CAN'T BREATHE!!!!

My sweet little angel likes to keep her booty in my rib cage, which makes my ribs needs to expand... only there are things keeping my ribs from expanding (ligaments, muscles, skin), which leaves me feeling like there's a rope around my ribcage.

And, with her booty on my lungs, I can't breathe.  FYI... not being able to breathe triggers a panic attack (which I've never had until now, but absolutely makes it even harder to breathe).

Other factors: Being 5 foot tall with a particularly short torso so she has nowhere to go; sitting at a desk for 8 hours (when I'm not in Court); a 2-hr commute (round trip).  So, poor EK is staying very squished and thus so are my lungs and every other internal organ.  All of that finally came crashing down on top of me yesterday and I cried the whole hour home (which I must add... did NOT help the breathing).

Now then... now that's out of the way, and I can really update.....

All four showers have come and gone and I basically got absolutely everything that I wanted.  I still had to get a few small things - a changing table pad/mattress; baby laundry detergent; dishwasher baskets and my bottle drying rack.  But buying those things was a simple task since I got an absurd amount in gift cards and had so many things to return (3 diaper genies, 2 wipe warmers, a boppy, a bumbo, etc.)

Her room is taking shape.  I have 9 weeks left.  I had two showers this past weekend and overall got almost everything I needed/wanted, and yet none of that compares to one thing....

Friday's 4D ultrasound... 

I am so in love, and she is so unbelievably perfect!

She measured approximately 4 lbs. and 3 oz. (at 30 weeks), and they expect her to grow about 5 more pounds, so .... It looks like that breathing thing may get worse....

But this face is sooooo worth it.