I am suddenly overwhelmed by the fact that I'm going to have too many visitors on EK's birth day. I suppose that's the downfall to having a planned birth. (At this moment, I'm thinking it'd be better to go into labor this weekend so it can be "quieter").
I have friends and family who plan to get there before the C-section and leave that night (from out of town). Then, we'll have a steady stream of people in and out all day.
Rarely has my family ever done anything small. That is one of the reasons that I chose to get married with immediately family only and have a reception afterwards. Other examples? My little brother had a wreck several years ago. At midnight that night, there were at least 50 people in the emergency room waiting room (that's 30 minutes away from my hometown) waiting to make sure he was okay. I had a D&C and a uterus suspension in 2003 (at a hospital an hour away from home), I had a steady stream of visitors to the point that I ended up very sick that night, because I didn't follow the "rest" orders. (I felt like I had to entertain visitors). My Christmas card list? At minimum... 175. Four baby showers, with the largest having a guest list of 200.
Are you getting my drift? It's never small.
I'm terrified that that's how Tuesday will be.... overwhelming. And being the Type A person that I am, I am terrified of being out of control, but I also acknowledge that it will be very difficult to be "in control" when I am flat on my back (post spinal tap).
I am so afraid that I won't have time for just me and EK (and DH). I told DH that I don't want to feel like I just gave birth... for everyone else to love on her. Yes, I know how it sounds.... me, me, me. But I have endured these nine months with one thing on my brain... the day when I could hold her and kiss her face and just love her... outside my body. He says that I'm putting a lot of this on myself, that I shouldn't feel like I have to entertain people all day, that I'm going to need my rest, that we'll let the nurses take her back to the nursery if it gets to be too much (HELLO... it's not her that will be too much... it'll be all the grownups. She's the one I want to keep. Can the nurses take the grown ups?)
Anyway... if you haven't gathered... THIS IS ME FREAKING OUT!
Someone make me feel better.
Wordless Wednesday
2 days ago
Hey! I have been a reader for the past few months, first time commenting...we are due in a few short weeks and took three courses at the hospital and I think the single most beneficial piece of information we received was to spend the first hour after birth alone with the baby. This is when they say the baby is most alert and will recognize your voice, etc. Even after recovery from a c-section, our teacher said to take one single hour with the baby because you'll never get it back. Family can wait. You are lucky to have so many people in your life, but they will ALL understand. Take the hour for yourselves and then you will feel you have some control! Good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, that's exactly how my family is. You could tell them to stay away for the day, but it wouldn't matter. It definitly has its benefits, but this situation isn't one of them. It's especially hard because it all comes from a place of love and you hate to be a bitch, but sometimes you have no choice.
ReplyDeleteDon't let this overshadow your big day. I suspect it will all work out and you will be so thrilled when it's all said and done.
Can't wait for pics!
You are so blessed. Baby, loving family that wants to be a part of it all. BUT - If it all gets to be too much - have a pre- planned cue you can give for the nurse and let her be the bad guy. She will kick them all out for awhile and let you cuddle and rest. When we took our son for his big brother class I noticed that our hospital reserves a 2 1/2 hours for mom, dad, baby bonding time mid afternoon every day. Good luck to you my dear. You are gonna do great.
ReplyDeleteGood idea to warn the nurses ahead of time-- they'll definitely do the kicking out for you! And I think you should for sure limit your visiting hours!!
ReplyDeleteWow, this is all so exciting! Only 5 more days!!!!
I think this is the one time when it's okay to be selfish. If you need space, I think it's okay to ask everyone to leave. They should be understanding. You'll need to rest and recover, and EK will need rest too. Ask your husband for his support in this too. He can help to direct people out when it gets too much.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like good advice given so far. I would consider talking in advance to very close family members (parents and siblings) and let them know your concerns and the fact that they will have the rest of their life to love on the new baby but you'll never get those first few hours back. At least if you talk to them in advance, they might take the "boot" a little better....fingers crossed. Good luck with the birth!!
ReplyDeleteI have SOOOO much advice for you on this subject. I'm going to email you. The short of it - it's going to work out perfectly. :) I can't believe it's already time. I wish I could come see you and baby girl (in a non-overwhelming, non-visitor-ish sort of way)!!
ReplyDeleteI have a very involved family too who have been through this tough road with us and def want to be part of the big day....I have already proclaimed to everyone that My husband and I will be spending the first hour with our little boy alone...Sorry its our time and they all respect that...My mom however keeps bugging me about being in the delivery room but I want my sister who is nurse in the nursery and my hubs of course and thats it...Sometimes in life we have to be selfish and make things about what we want and this is one of those times...Plus there will be many times when everyone can see baby but this is one of those events you will not do again so do it how you want:) How exciting that next week is the big day!!
ReplyDeleteSend out a note asking them to not come the first 2 or 3 days. We had a bunch of visitors the first day and it was way too overwhelming, especially since I was trying to figure out how to breastfeed, and that takes 2 of every three hours to do. People were nice when I told them I was not up to it.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness I would tell them now - just remembering the little amount of visitors I had and I had a breakdown - having a baby is vey vey hard and I thought I could handle visitors but in reality the next time I'm saying 1-2 every 3 days
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to explain the hardness of the jet few weeks till you go through it yourself
Plus the risk of infection? The flu! for the baby with to many visitors - i mention to tell them now
Tell your nurse ahead of time that you would like no vistors for what ever amount of time you'd like alone as a family of 3. Then also ask her if she'll kick/keep family out if you give her the "clue" Alot of times, I as the nurse see my new mommies overwhelmed and I'll ask the family to step out for a moment and I'll verify with the mom and then I'm the "bad" guy and ask the family and friends to please stay in the waiting room till I come get them as soon as mom & baby can have visitors again. Trust me we do this VERY often,so its not a big deal to ask.
ReplyDeleteBe very careful to get GOOD rest and take care of yourself in the hospital. I don't mean to be the downer, but as the perfectionist you are, you have a higher risk for PPD. Watch for all of the warning signs. I am battling it myself right now.
ReplyDeleteWell.........any news yet?!?!
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking about you today! Can't wait for news... :)
ReplyDelete